I have finally admitted something that I have pretty much been denying for close to a year. Three different cardiologists have advised me to have a defibrillator placed in my chest. Since my November 2005 heart attack, I have subsequent congestive heart failure. Now this is not cardiac arrest, which is when the heart stops beating. Heart failure is more of not being able to efficiently supply blood to the rest of the body. My ejection fraction (EF), which is the amount of blood that the heart pumps out with each contraction, is about 30%, while the norm is 55 to 60%. So I guess this explains my half-hearted attempts at everything since the heart attack. (Man, I can hear your groans from here.) Since my EF is below 35%, I stand a much greater chance of dying from sudden cardiac death than the general population and the defibrillator will hopefully keep that from happening.
The above diagram is from Boston Scientific International's website. It is a pretty good approximation of the implantable cardioverter defibrillator (ICD) that I will be getting and where the electrophysiologist will place it. All of this will take place during the first half of January 2008. Now I could have had this done literally the day after tomorrow, but I thought I'd let the whole holiday hoopla die down first.
Call me old-fashioned, but I still don't like the idea of having a device, whose sole purpose for existence is to electrically shock my heart, put into my chest. It would be different if it had a cool light or beeping noise like I had survived a Borg attack or was being used as a guinea pig for the advancement of bionics. Maybe I could have it supercharge my IQ or have a translator on it so that I could use it to speak foreign languages just by thinking of the words! Even a clock feature or a simple flashlight would be cooler than literally not doing anything until I'm getting ready to die. But I know that this isn't at all about it being cool or not, it's about saving my life. I just wish there was a bit more of a fun factor involved. Perhaps that's the part of me that will never really grow up.
To quote my favorite modern-day consulting detective, Adrian Monk, "See, here's the thing..."... this ICD will become, for all intents and purposes, part of me. I just find it a little unsettling to have a new "part." So far as I can figure, there are only four real reasons that I would ever have to have it removed from my chest.
First, every five to seven years, the batteries will need to be replaced, which means that the metal "box" unit will be replaced but the wire will be left in place. The wire will need replacing about every fifteen years. The second reason is if there is, God forbid, a recall. The third reason is actually a two-parter. If it malfunctions, as in shocking me at wrong times, it will need to be replaced. If it malfunctions, as in it fails, I guess it might be removed by the people performing my autopsy. Finally, and least likely, if I somehow recover the lost cardiac function, it may be removed since I probably wouldn't need it.
Well, I'm getting it. I don't want it, but I just might need it. I'm praying that I never do.
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